Here is a question I’ve been pondering on for the last several months, and I’ve even preached on this topic just a few months before: Do we want to be wise or do we merely just want to be thought of as wise and maintain a self-image, a façade, of wisdom? Who doesn’t want to think they have things figured out and who doesn’t want other people to think they’ve got things figured out? But when we merely want to protect our self-image of wisdom, then often, we end up defending ourselves from the very thing that can make us wise. We’re rejecting the very thing that can help us grow and truly find wisdom. That very thing is correction. The wisest people I know don’t think they’re wise and practice humility and seek after correction. You can’t be proud and wise at the same time (Proverbs 16:18; Isaiah 5:21; 1 Corinthians 10:12). And if you’re not seeking wisdom, you’re not following Jesus. Humility is hard to teach because everyone who needs it thinks they already have it. We can all be a little more humble. So how can we be a little more wise in our lives starting today? By being reception to correction.
Handling valid reproof is hard (online or in person). And a typical response for many is to become offended, defensive, deflective, or even dismissive. All this is an attempt to guard our egos, which for many, including myself, can be very fragile at times. But let the Lord protect and keep your heart, not pride. Pride protects our egos, but pride can’t guard or sustain our hearts. while pride is protecting our ego, and our egos remain intact, we leave our hearts exposed to pain and making the wrong choices. We think we’re protecting ourselves from momentary hurt, from being criticized, being offended, but, in actuality, we’re making ourselves more vulnerable to foolishness and a lifetime of hurt. When we attempt to protect our egos, we’re actually rejecting something we so desperately need and something we should love; Correction (Proverbs 15:31-33). According to Proverbs 12:15, fools are confident that the way they do things is always right. And yet this should cause us to stop and ask ourselves are we ever in this category? We all, at some point in our lives, believe we are right, but have been wrong. What does Solomon in this passage tell us a wise man does? He says, “a wise man listens to advice”. That’s hard, isn’t it? In Hebrew, the idea of listen (שׁמע/Shama) carries with it the implication of obedience. It’s good to be confident and many times its good to do what you think is right, but don’t be so confident and so bold, and so convinced that you’re right that you won’t listen to advice or correction, and won’t utilize it to help you do better and be the best person you can possibly be.
Obviously not all attempts at “correction” are right. Maybe you’ve been around a lot of hypercritical people. God will deal with that and that’s an issue that is addressed in Scripture (Ephesians 4:29; 1 Timothy 1:5). It’s a difficult experience that can leave us wounded, but we can’t allow for those experiences to cause us to reject even wise correction grounded in truth. And regardless of how a person says something to us or what their intention is, if what they are saying is true, then why reject that part of it? Again, Let the Lord and His word guard you, not pride (psalm 119:9). How can we know if their reproof/advice is correct? By examining their correction and your behavior through the lens of the Word of God. I’ve gotten wrong advice before, but more often then not I’ve dismissed wisdom and have said “they’re just criticizing me!” Well, what if they’re right? They only way you’ll know is by listening and examining. If it’s their opinion, okay. Sometimes even an opinion can be helpful, but if it doesn’t apply to you, than do with it how you please. But if it is rooted in scripture, don’t hate it or despise it, but love it! You can love it even if you struggle to like correction. Also, even if someone is wrong in their correction, can we at least appreciate that perhaps they were wanting to help make our life better? Or even save our life? We often times assume all criticism, correction, or reproof is coming from a negative place and that is not always true!
We ought to accept correction willingly and give correction sparingly. When you have to give correction, don’t offend people. That doesn’t ensure they won’t be offended, but it means your goal is not to hurt them but to help them (Colossians 4:6; Ephesians 4:29). And when we need to be corrected, we need to allow for God’s wisdom to take hold of our hearts. James said, “But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.” (James 3:17). The word here for “open to reason” (εὐπειθής/eupeithes) means that if what a person is saying is truth, we’re humble, we listen, and we obey what the truth is. And if we don’t necessarily agree at first, we’re humble enough to give it a fair listen and measure to our lives and see if it applies.
Lord, help me to love correction and be thankful that people care enough to help me live better. Help me to also not be hypercritical and be more gracious and meditative in how I address people. I need prayer in this area of my life and if you need prayer for that too, let me know!
- Paul